We have survived one month (or almost 2 months at this point) with a newborn! It really is true what everyone says, being a mom is the hardest job you will ever do. I’m not going to sugar-coat anything, since our little girl Luna was born, it has been the most challenging time of my life, physically, mentally and emotionally.
The first two weeks (especially the first) were rough. I battled the baby blues and felt like a horrible person for feeling the way I did. I was mourning my old life when this new life had just begun. When someone asked me how I was, I did everything in my power to hold back the tears that inevitably would start flowing. My hormones were going crazy meaning my emotions were too. I wanted this baby more than anything but I couldn’t control the way I felt. I cried every time I thought about my dog (yes my dog), thinking she would feel so sad and replaced by this new baby. She had been the center of attention since coming into our lives two years ago, so in a way she was our first ‘baby’. (I’m sure this sounds ridiculous if you aren’t a dog person, but if you are maybe you can relate) She stayed at my mom’s house for the first week so my husband and I could get used to having the baby home and when we introduced Ivi to Luna, it couldn’t have gone better. Ivi loves to give Luna kisses and now doesn’t seem to be phased by this new little person in our lives. Such a relief.
Throughout those first couple weeks my husband was so amazing. Luckily he had about 3.5 weeks of paternity leave because I don’t know how I would of made it through without him. He recognized that I was feeling off and not the way I would of hoped. He sat me down to talk about it which helped so much and he did everything he could to just make the transition easier for me, even though he was going through the same transition too: no kids to having a kid. He truly is better than anyone I could of ever asked for and I feel so lucky to have him in my life.
While the first couple weeks were hard dealing with the baby blues, we entered the start of week three and it was like the cloud had lifted, my hormones were leveling out and I started feeling normal and more importantly, happy. Things have only gotten better and easier from that point on. We started developing more of a routine, started venturing out of the house more and seriously, the more you get out with a baby, the easier and less stressful it gets. And omg, thank god for the Solly wrap! The first few weeks Luna would cry in her car seat while we were out which made things stressful. But if we just popped in her Solly wrap she went to sleep immediately, and stayed asleep for our outing. Meaning we got to go out to lunch/dinner and eat (and have a margarita or two!) in peace! It was magical. Now that she is a little older (even just a couple of weeks older ha) she is much more content being in her car seat for outings or her stroller (though we always make sure to take the Solly wrap with us everywhere just in case). Another thing that has helped my overall mental state tremendously is the fact that she is a really really good sleeper at night! Once she was back above her birth weight her pediatrician gave us the go ahead to let her sleep for as long as she wanted at night. And literally ever since then, she goes down between 8:30 and 9:30 at night and sleeps anywhere from 6-8 hours before she wakes!!! Seriously getting that long stretch of sleep is so amazing, I don’t know what we would do if we had a baby that woke every hour or two. Once she does wake, usually about 4/4:30am, Mars gets up, changes her diaper, then hands her off to me to nurse her and she is back to sleep for a couple hours. I’m hoping over the next couple weeks we can get her to just sleep all the way through until about 6/6:30. That’s when we are typically getting up during the week anyways so it would be perfect:)
When Mars went back to work after 3ish weeks I was really nervous. Not because I didn’t think I could handle taking care of the baby alone, but because I enjoyed the company of having another adult around. Someone to talk to that could actually talk back. But after the first day, and then the first week went by it wasn’t so bad. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I still count down the hours until he gets home every day. But I feel totally confident in my abilities to survive the day without him. The one thing I was most nervous about was going on my first outing alone with the baby. I had pretty severe anxiety pre-baby so I was pretty nervous about this. But I talked myself into going to Target (of course) for my first outing. She slept in the car and I plopped her in the Solly wrap when we got there. She slept the whole time and then slept on the car ride home too. I felt like I had accomplished something huge, when it was really something so simple. Every week I have gone on more and more outings with Luna and none (knock on wood) have turned into a melt down situation! Before our first trip and honestly, still before every trip out, I get a flash vision of Luna screaming her head off while I have a shopping car full and me just totally panicking, dropping all my shit and booking it to the nearest exit. Thank god that hasn’t happened…yet. But seriously, the more you get out and do it, the easier it gets.
Overall, this first month, or almost 2 now, of motherhood have been hard, trying, overwhelming, exhausting but so. damn. amazing. This little baby girl has given a whole new purpose to our lives. She just started smiling a couple weeks ago and holy shit, it melts your heart every. damn. time. Now, can someone tell me how to get her to nap for more than 45 minutes at a time during the day? That would be really great 🙂